As I prepare to write this I have slept for SIXTY-FIVE hours since Monday evening, with the exception of going to the doctor. That’s more than most people sleep in a week. So I apologize if I haven’t gotten back with any correspondence.
I have some insights that I have learned over the last few days that I would love to share with you. Interesting thing happened after I finished the last Soul Food column PMA. Immediately after writing it, I felt “I need to lay down”...so I went into the bedroom and laid down on my bed. For the next hour I was covered from head to toe with blankets, an afghan, a comforters and sheets, (remember I live in California). I laid in bed trying to sleep for an hour (and this was still morning) and I couldn’t stop shivering to save my life.
So I got our of bed and ran a hot bath and stayed in the bath with the hot water running trying to get rid of the chills. I called my doctor who had been treating me for a second-degree burn and she said to come in. Well, it took another two hours before I could get myself to stand up and get dressed, I was nauseous, throwing up, and freezing to death. I finally made it to the doctor’s. Oh yea, and I am covered with hives from head to toe, not a pretty site, trust me!
I was there for four hours because they couldn’t release me until I somewhat stabilized, I had a fever of 105, and hives. Apparently I had suffered a severe reaction to the antibiotics that I had been taking (and was still taking until that afternoon when I called the doctor, and expressed my concern about the antibiotic). To share with you some of my insights I need to tell you about a statement the young 20 year-old nurse said to me. In the beginning they really couldn’t figure out what was going on (but I knew it was the antibiotic), and the nurse said to me “sometimes your body needs to get real sick, to release all the toxins, especially if you’re the type that never gets sick” (which I am). I just looked at her and said “what do mean? I don’t smoke, or drink liquor, (wine doesn’t count), I don’t eat fast food, or processed food, and I’m gluten free; so what toxins do I need to release?” She walked away and didn’t answer me.
The above was on Wednesday’s visit, Tuesday I just laid on the bed in the doctor’s room for four hours going in and out of delirium, not speaking to anyone just drifting in and out of trying to sleep and keep myself from freezing to death.
Today is Thursday and my fever is down, still not normal but down, and they have given me something for the hives. I will be out of comission until at least early next week. This is what I have learned, which I would like to share.
First there was my second-degree burn, then the Escondido fires which came dangerously close to my home, then a few hundred dollars unexpected car repairs, and then the mysterious high-fever, hives, and near death experience. Actually I wished I were dead on Tuesday, that was the most horrific experience I’ve had in a long time. To tell you the truth, as I was laying there in the doctor’s office on the hard patient “bed” going in and out of delirium, I wish I would have had a true NED (near death experience) so that I could come back and relate it to you, and share that with you. But it didn’t get quite that far.
What I’ve learned from the above experiences, is maybe that young 20 year-old nurse had a point. My birthday is coming up *June 24th* (everyone knows I love my birthdays)…so just maybe I need to do some cleansing; like a total death and rebirth thing like the Phoenix rising from the ashes. Nature purges all the time, it’s a natural part of the process. Think about it, the burn, the fires, the car, the fevers, the hives, it’s all kind of purging (well maybe with the exception of the car, but the car had to purge old parts to get new parts so no one is killed). I feel this was a catharsis, I needed to reevaluate what’s working in my life and what’s not.
I learned a lot about myself and my values, what’s important and what’s not. I learned some people are there for you and some are not, this is neither good nor bad, but sometimes it takes a crisis to bring these things to the surface. Interestingly enough the Angels are coming to my home for a visit starting Friday May 23rd till May 27th, and I need to prepare for them. I feel what’s happened to me over the last couple of days and weeks is in perfect alignment with their upcoming visit. I am purging, letting go, and getting ready for a whole new beginning.
My best friend Ziggy Starrdust (above) had stayed by my side through all of it, and for that I am truly grateful.
As I said earlier this week, I know there’s a damn pony in all of this shit somewhere, and I’m not stopping until I find it.
I hope this has helped and inspired you, with all my love & blessings,